Embarking on a journey of self-discovery involves understanding the clear distinction between what belongs to you and what doesn’t. The words and wisdom of Melody Beattie highlight how to delineate personal property lines for a healthier and more empowered life.
In setting personal property lines, Melody’s words, “Today I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn’t. If it’s not mine, I won’t keep it,” inspired me. They guided me to cultivate a clear-cut awareness of what is rightfully mine. With that awareness I made a commitment to address my own behaviours, problems, feelings, happiness, and misery. It also, supported me in taking responsibility for my choices, messages, and the nurturing of my thoughts, hopes, and dreams. This commitment also meant that I resist external attempts to control, manipulate, deceive, or mistreat me.
How do you draw the line between yourself and others? Establishing parameters to benchmark individual property lines is crucial. Consider these guidelines as you mark your private property lines:
- Acknowledge Personal Challenges:
- Problems, feelings, self-defeating behaviours, and addictions are the property of the individual experiencing them.
- Identify Negative Patterns:
- Martyrdom, negativity, control, or manipulation are issues that belong to others, not to you.
- Understand Consequences:
- Both behaviours and consequences belong to the individual who acted and experienced the outcome.
- Navigate Confusion:
- Denial or unclear thinking on an issue is the property of the confused individual.
- Appreciate Emotional Boundaries:
- A limited or impaired ability to love or care is their property, not yours.
- Reject Deceptive Behaviours:
- Lies, deceit, manipulation, and abusive behaviours belong to the person exhibiting them.
- Respect Aspirations:
- Hopes and dreams are individual aspirations.
- Accept Emotional States:
- Feelings of guilt, happiness, or misery are individual experiences.
- Consider Beliefs and Messages:
- Beliefs and messages are personal constructs.
- Accept Self-Love Choices:
- If someone doesn’t like themselves, it is their choice, just as your choices are yours.
Choosing your property line based on values and principles that build self-worth and personal value is essential for personal growth. Recognizing what belongs to you and what belongs to someone else paves the way for mutual respect and wellbeing.
To learn more about your property lines and setting healthy boundaries contact me at [email protected]
{*Paraphrased from “The Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie.}
